For many of us, part of our holiday tradition involves watching “A Christmas Story,” the 1983 film in which a young Ralphie Parker tells anyone who’ll listen that he wants an “official Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock.” He’s summarily told he’ll shoot his eye out. He gets the gun anyway. While he doesn’t shoot his eye out, he does manage to break his glasses.
The moral of the story should have been that parental supervision and air rifles go together like “A Christmas Story” and TBS binge-watching.
If you’re not too big on that, though, Hasbro’s Nerf division has you covered. Starting in 1991, it began producing toy guns with foam bullets. Problem solved, you lazy parents.
That’s still not enough for some mall Santas, however — including one at the Harlem Irving Plaza in Norridge, Illinois. Thankfully, though, when that’s the case, we have the National Rifle Association to save the day.
Earlier this month, Sabella DeCarlo took her 4-year-old son, Michael, to see Mr. Kringle — albeit in a socially distanced manner.
The video of the encounter showed that the right jolly old elf is actually pretty far left.
When Michael said he wanted a Nerf gun, Santa shot him down, saying, “Nope, no guns.”
Perhaps Santa misheard him, DeCarlo thought, and she made sure he knew it was a Nerf gun.
“Nope, not even a Nerf gun,” the mall Santa said. “Nope. If your dad wants to get it for you, that’s fine, but I can’t bring it to you.”
When Santa asked what else DeCarlo would like, the child was reduced to tears.
“How did nobody in this line including the mother step up and give the fat man in the suit a piece of their mind?” conservative commentator Matt Walsh wrote, tweeting a video of the encounter last week.
How did nobody in this line including the mother step up and give the fat man in the suit a piece of their mind?
— Matt Walsh (@MattWalshBlog) December 7, 2020
The good news is that the NRA decided it was going to step up and make it “our mission to make Michael’s Christmas the best ever.” While “Mean Santa” wouldn’t give Michael a single Nerf gun, the right kind of right jolly old elf made sure he got his gun — and then some:
Mall Santa didn’t want to give Michael a Nerf gun for Christmas and made him cry.
— NRA (@NRA) December 14, 2020
“Mean Santa won’t be happy I have this,” Michael said, right before he engaged in a Nerf war with Good Santa. (Who was wearing shades, of course, because just when you thought this couldn’t get any better, it somehow managed to.)
“I am so grateful for all of the people who reached out and sent Nerf guns to Michael. Americans of all backgrounds came together and rallied for my son,” DeCarlo said in the NRA video. “We have received hundreds of Nerf guns and Michael will be distributing those to other little patriots in need.”
“NRA, thank you for making my family’s Christmas one we will never forget.”
Sadly, you know who never forgets? These types:
In the modern, actual world, many kids don’t play with guns because there are infinite alternatives and guns will evolve out with barbarians.
— Registered Independent (@Marycole121) December 14, 2020
Creating future school shooters one propaganda video at a time.
— 🇨🇦Lord Michael Skywalker (@MCMikeSkywalker) December 14, 2020
Good thing he didn’t ask for a bump stock
— Floridian80 (@MLJohnson80) December 14, 2020
The comments section was really about half-filled with tweets like these, which is yet another example of why Twitter isn’t real life.
Not only did the NRA send over a Santa, so did the mall where “Mean Santa” became a viral killjoy.
“So there was a mistake made yesterday? Well, we’re so sorry about that, OK?” the other Santa said in the video.
He also gave Michael a Nerf gun. In the meanwhile, the old Santa is looking for a job.
“Santa is heartbroken and crushed that he has made this child so sad and upset, and turned in his resignation. The Santa company will continue to remind all Santa’s how important it is to not impose personal opinions during visits with the children,” the mall said in the post.
So, yes — we’re not living in a time when most kids will wish for and receive a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas, but we’re also not yet living in the world of Twitter outrage where Nerf guns, as provided by the NRA, are creating school shooters.
If anything, this was pretty much the best advertisement the National Rifle Association and Nerf could have gotten this yuletide season.
“Santa’s job is to make kids believe in the magic of Christmas, not to lecture us on politics,” DeCarlo said in the video. Very true.
Even more true, to quote NRA Santa: “The North Pole doesn’t need any commies.”
This article appeared originally on The Western Journal.